Book Review: Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson

4 out of 5 stars:

Hello everyone, and long time, no post! It's been a bit hectic with work events and the like, and I'm already halfway through my next read as I write this, but I'm hoping to get more of a regular posting schedule sorted soon!

I love a thriller, or any kind of suspense novel. I'd steered clear of them for years, assuming they weren't really my thing and often looking for books that would probably be described as more 'high brow'. However since leaving university five years ago (what?) I've actually become a lot less selective when it comes to my reading material. Studying English at university on one hand broadened my reading horizons (some of my favourite books are ones I never would've picked up had they not been on my uni reading lists), but it also seems to have instilled an attitude in me that some books are 'proper' books and others aren't. I won't lie, I still think there is some trash out there, but on the whole I've become open to reading anything and read now for enjoyment, escapism, and to learn, rather than to make a certain impression or look intelligent.

I really enjoyed Never Have I Ever.  The focus is on Amy and the dilemma she is facing with mysterious new neighbour, Roux, but skipping back to snippets of Amy's past puts her into context as an adult which I liked. Amy has a dark secret and has done some terrible things, but one of the main messages the novel sent was that everyone has a past, and we are who we are today because of a million little things that have happened to us. Or one big thing, in Amy's case.

I also felt that the novel served as a reminder that it's not our pasts that define us, but rather how we move on and learn from our mistakes. Amy has been wracked with guilt all of her adult life over that night all those years ago, and letting Tig take the blame, and Roux capitalises on that guilt and uses it to blackmail her. But rather than distancing herself from Roux and focusing on how they are different, she realises how similar they actually are, and it is this acknowledgement that allows Amy to triumph. Amy realises that while Roux is bitter, spiteful, and full of hate, Amy herself feels remorse and has worked to make amends.

I felt the ending was a little rushed; there didn't seem to be much of an explanation as to what happened to Luca, and no ramifications for Amy's actions, honourable as they were. There's also an awful lot of white privilege thrown around in this book - Amy would've 100% been incarcerated were it not for her parents and their money - but beneath the surface was a story about genuine personal growth and being able to let go of the person you used to be. Allowing yourself to grow and change without clinging on to the past, and understanding that every day is a new opportunity to start again.

Would recommend if you like suspense fiction and thrillers with evil female antagonists. A lot of Killing Eve vibes in this one!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.