Book review: Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
I don't even know where to begin with this book. I haven't enjoyed a non-fiction book (or really any book for that matter) this much in, quite honestly, years. It's a memoir unlike any I've read before; I almost never laugh out loud at books but this is one I found myself belly laughing to when I was reading it alone in bed at night. Dolly Alderton is four years older than me; older enough for her words to speak to me from the lofty perspective of a woman who's already crossed the terrifying threshold into her thirties, but still part of my generation, meaning her anecdotes about MSN Messenger and gap yahs still resonate.
Dolly takes us from her upbringing in a suburb of North London, through her rebellious teens, university life in Devon, and into her 'roaring' twenties - a non-stop adventure of grubby flat shares, dates, jobs, drinking, and finding her feet. Her slightly chaotic collection of memories, thoughts, and musings is completely honest and relatable, even though my experiences don't closely mirror hers. She champions female friendships - in fact the 'love' to which the title refers seems to be just that - the love she has for the women in her life. She writes with intense passion and enthusiasm of the women who have shaped her life so far and invites the reader to cherish their friendships and not let pursuit of a romantic relationship dominate their twenties. Her writing style is both rambling stream of consciousness and carefully constructed prose, and kept me hooked until the last word.
It could be argued that Dolly's experiences are nothing that out of the ordinary; why would anyone care about a privileged millennial woman writing about her twenties doing all the pretty standard things that twenty-something women do? But for me, that's what made it such a great read. Reading about someone who spent their twenties backpacking around the world would no doubt have been enlightening, but if what you want is the literary equivalent of comfort food then this is the book for you. As readers, we want to feel represented and to read words that mirror our own thoughts, our own experiences. I definitely think that more diversity is required in literature and in the voices that get given a platform, and so in that sense a memoir by a privileged white woman might not seem that groundbreaking, but I enjoyed reading this because I found it relatable despite our different upbringings and experiences.
She is unflinchingly honest about her flaws and shortcomings, and doesn't shy away from the fact that she hasn't always been the best daughter or the best friend to those that love her. But life is a learning curve, nobody is perfect, and being open and willing to grow is what ultimately defines us.
One of my favourite elements was Dolly's demystification of love and the ways in which it presents itself. She writes of how, for much of her twenties, love had to be exciting - fizzing and popping - grand gestures and sudden beginnings and explosive endings. But as she moved through her twenties she realised that love comes in all forms; from friends, family, loved ones - and that we often find love where we least expect it, in the humdrum minutiae of every day life.
Dolly takes us from her upbringing in a suburb of North London, through her rebellious teens, university life in Devon, and into her 'roaring' twenties - a non-stop adventure of grubby flat shares, dates, jobs, drinking, and finding her feet. Her slightly chaotic collection of memories, thoughts, and musings is completely honest and relatable, even though my experiences don't closely mirror hers. She champions female friendships - in fact the 'love' to which the title refers seems to be just that - the love she has for the women in her life. She writes with intense passion and enthusiasm of the women who have shaped her life so far and invites the reader to cherish their friendships and not let pursuit of a romantic relationship dominate their twenties. Her writing style is both rambling stream of consciousness and carefully constructed prose, and kept me hooked until the last word.It could be argued that Dolly's experiences are nothing that out of the ordinary; why would anyone care about a privileged millennial woman writing about her twenties doing all the pretty standard things that twenty-something women do? But for me, that's what made it such a great read. Reading about someone who spent their twenties backpacking around the world would no doubt have been enlightening, but if what you want is the literary equivalent of comfort food then this is the book for you. As readers, we want to feel represented and to read words that mirror our own thoughts, our own experiences. I definitely think that more diversity is required in literature and in the voices that get given a platform, and so in that sense a memoir by a privileged white woman might not seem that groundbreaking, but I enjoyed reading this because I found it relatable despite our different upbringings and experiences.
She is unflinchingly honest about her flaws and shortcomings, and doesn't shy away from the fact that she hasn't always been the best daughter or the best friend to those that love her. But life is a learning curve, nobody is perfect, and being open and willing to grow is what ultimately defines us.
One of my favourite elements was Dolly's demystification of love and the ways in which it presents itself. She writes of how, for much of her twenties, love had to be exciting - fizzing and popping - grand gestures and sudden beginnings and explosive endings. But as she moved through her twenties she realised that love comes in all forms; from friends, family, loved ones - and that we often find love where we least expect it, in the humdrum minutiae of every day life.
"I know that love happens under the splendour of the moon and stars and fireworks and sunsets but it also happens when you’re lying on blow-up airbeds in a childhood bedroom, sitting in A&E or in a queue for a passport or in a traffic jam."
I've already bought this for two people as birthday presents, and it's up there as possibly my favourite read of 2019. Highly recommended.
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